On Being Married Twice as Long as Being Single

It seems like just a few months ago that I was standing on the threshold of Merle Bruce on the campus of ETBC helping incoming freshman coeds move into their dorm rooms. It was 70's and the one time in the year that males were allowed in the girls dorm rooms.

On this fateful day I helped several young coeds a few of whom I'd met during the spring at the infamous Tiger Days, but one red head on crutches especially caught my eye.  She was petite with freckles and in very much in need of assistance.  She was in an old beat up tank of a car held together by bailing wire and spit filled with boxes and clothes. She was still recovering from knee surgery from a VB injury.  At the time I thought awesome, cute, athletic and tough.   I introduced myself and began to help unload her stuff and get her relocated.

I asked her out sometime later that week. Don't remember exactly where we went, probably the cafeteria and a campus event since we were both poor college students.  By Thanksgiving I knew this young lady was special and I needed to spend my life with her.  As Christmas break approached we made plans for my visit to her home to ask her Dad for permission to marry her.

Upon arrival her brother met with open and running sores on his face. I was warned that he was big into theatre arts and to be prepared for anything.  When I asked her Dad for permission the next day his response was, "What did you bring to trade for her?"  I was caught off guard at first, then offered to trade one of my calves. He messed with me a little bit longer, but her Mom got on to him and he said yes letting me off the hook.

When I got home I informed my folks I was engaged and that we planned to marry in June. They weren't overly thrilled that I was about to get married before I finished college.

I worked January to March at the local bowling alley keeping the machinery operational and dragging lanes before my Dad called me one day and said quit because he didn't like the place. The thing he forgot to tell me was that he had a job for me in his new business.  So for the last two months of spring and the summer we got married I learned the cattle auction business from the backend.  Sleeping Monday in a sleeping bag checking in cattle and then going back to morning classes before driving back to finish yarding cattle and staying until dark thirty to load them out.

When our wedding finally arrived I was ready to start my life with her.  Our first night in our first place was inaugurated by the discovery of a flea infestation.  We had to spray the bed with pet spray because it was all we could find at the store.  The next day we bombed it while we were at work selling cattle.  My bride worked in the front office helping with books or in the cafe with her knew mother-in-law selling burgers and fries.

When school started in September we were so ready to get there.  My parents fear of me not finishing were quickly relieved when they discovered that my bride was more of a task master about school than they could have imagined.  Because of her drive I finished on time and with a whole lot better grades than I had when I was single.  Come to think of it my entire educational success is largely because of her support or nagging.

Did I mention she has the spiritual gift of "nag'!

Now two children, two careers, a daughter-in-law and two wonderful grandsons later I stand on the threshold of celebrating the anniversary that marks my live as husband doubling that as a single man.  Oh sure, there are quite a few things that I'd change along the way. Less debt, less hard headedness on my part (she's been right quite a bit more than I'd like to admit), one job change, a couple of gun shot wounds and some other poor decisions for sure. But there is one thing that I would not change and that is the night I got down on my knee and asked the cute freckled faced red headed hippie to marry me.  That decision was the second most important decision of my then 19 years of life.

Yes, 38 years ago on June 15 my life as husband began with my best friend.  I can't believe that she's put up with me this long. Thank you God for sending us both to ETBC and allowing our paths to intersect and intertwine for the journey here in Your creation.

Happy 38th sweetheart!! I love you more each year we grow together.

Do Your Job

This year our head coach challenged us to lead our players to "Do Your Job!" with enthusiasm. If we are to do this we must do our job also. Everyday getting prepared to prepare them to do their job.

In Romans, Paul speaks of one of those characteristics that often gets in the way of doing our job. In the passage he's talking to the family of God in Rome who is having problems with the proper attitude about meat. Now remember its not just meat, but rather meat sacrificed to false gods. For some its a huge thing because they feel like it dishonors God, for others they don't believe in the gods so they don't see it as a matter of sin.

When I was growing up I remember that it was a really big deal for Baptists not to eat in restaurants where they served alcohol (beer, wine, etc.) because of the Baptist stance against drinking. It wasn't necessarily wrong to eat in that restaurant, but you didn't want to give the impression that you supported the liquor industry. For many it was a deep sin, for others it wasn't that important.

Here Paul urges us to avoid being a stumbling block, both to believers and non-believers. And how are we to cease causing folks to fall, don't judge.

In the heat of the moment on the practice field we blurt out a correction in a harsh tone that the athlete cowers from. We question their mental capacity. We question their dedication and commitment. We judge.

In life away from the 'practice field' we do the same thing. Paul urges us to check ourselves.

This summer take time to check yourself!!

The Rings the Thing

Since returning to coaching I've had the privilege of being a sub-varsity coach for the Texas' high school football 5A-Division1 state champion three times. As a result I own a couple of the state championship rings (skipped one). The first is in a display case along with the gold medals collecting dust. The last ring is worn occasionally to school and on a few trips; however, after my last trip it will be worn more regularly.

While on a mini-vacation I put the ring on before heading out with my wife for a little shopping, dining and an evening listening to jazz under the oaks in Gruene. The shopping and dining were basically uneventful with the exception of finding a well kept secret Bistro in the basement of a Texas hill country city hall. The evening of jazz under the oaks however, would prove to be engaging.

In May and June we had been challenged to engage life with purpose. The purpose is exemplified in Luke 19:9-10 and clarified in Matthew 28:19-20 giving us motivation to do life by. What I didn't realize was when I put the ring on that morning was this challenge would be given a window of application.

Arriving for the evening of jazz I staked out a couple of benches and a barrel. After enjoying some cheese, chicken salad and crackers with a little drink we relaxed to listen to the music. But the ring was the thing that night.

Following dinner our conversation is suddenly interrupted. The ring has attracted an avid fan of high school football and he wants the story and a picture. Family, occupation/interests and a little bit of religion, not necessarily in that order, intertwine themselves opening my eyes to realize that we're engaging. And it's natural, not at all forced or canned.

The ring induced conversation winds down as the does the jazz. But wait, an invitation to return and continue to engage this couple's life with offer of lodging and a meal. More important, the door remands open for a further discussion of faith.

John 4:38 reminds me that..."Others have labored, and you have entered into their labor." Add this to your remembrance as you remember "the rings the thing" be ready for the engagement opportunity it may bring.

Didn't know Him

But when the day was now breaking, Jesus stood on the beach; yet the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. -John 21:4

Here was the man that these fishers had walked with for three years performing miracles and teaching them how to follow, speaking directly to them and they did NOT know Him. In the very presence of the Savior and yet they were blind to see Him!

How often do we find ourselves in Christ's presence and are totally oblivious to Him?

We sit in service after service, revival after revival, hearing the call of God to join Him yet pass through those times not seeing Jesus but rather dismissing it as emotional feeling that will pass.

Or are we one of those whom years ago I called the "cold bucket brigade" who feel it their "spiritual duty" to cast doubt on the call of those we deem beyond the use of God when they get totally caught up in Him. You know them they're the ones that would have called Peter too emotional when he jumped in the water to swim ahead when they recognized it was Jesus giving them instruction.

This weekend I took time to visit my son and his family, no surprise huh. We went to here him sing at the Wills Point festival and enjoyed his offering of NeedtoBreath's "Lay 'Em Down".

But we stayed to be a part of a new church plant's opening service. One hundred and forty showed up in the two services held in an old metal building renovated for the services. The opportunity to hear and see the heart of the young man who God has given the vision to tells me this isn't some drummed up personal desire but rather a true call from God.

My prayer for those who venture into this new plant will not do so with both feet planted in the boat unable to see Jesus. But rather will jump into the water and swim like Peter to the Master to get involved right where God is.

For me, it's time for these tired bones to see my Savior anew. Its time to allow Him to clear the chaff from my life so that I might be fit to serve afresh. Who knows maybe God will use my old reprobate heart and life for His glory Again!

Will you see Jesus when He comes your way? Listen, watch and be ready for no one knows when He's coming to call on you...

Take time to read the rest of the story recorded in John 21 while you've got time.

A Decision Revisited: six years after

In the spring of 2005 an agreement with my wife to allow her to pursue a doctorate had passed the first 'fleese,' my bride had a job in the DFW area. So here I sit four months shy of six years later amazed that I have been out of church vocational service, My reflections are prompted today by the message delivered through my pastor to my heart today.

GRAND PLANS

After multiple 'cattle calls,' (job fairs) I received an offer to go to work in what proved to be a dream job. Six years later I've been a part of winning three state championships and involved in four state finals games. I've been able to work on a campus that despite a socioeconomic status change has maintained a high achievement standard on state assessments. But my plan was to use this as a TENT MAKER Ministry to allow me to do summer camp recreation or speak or something else for little cost or free to those doing the camp. I got to do a couple of those my first summer, but ever since I've been working to just keep up with all the extra training required to be a teacher/coach in Texas that teaches math. My plans, to say the least, have not come to fruition.

MAJOR QUESTION

Is Christ supreme in my life in such a way that I, as a Christian, am about the "Right Motives for Working Hard? If God is not Lord of our work then it is indeed a major miss as far as Him being supreme, because work is the major portion of what we do in our life today." -Ross Sawyer, 121 Community Church, Colossians 4/10/2011

"...in all things obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, do your work whole heartedly, as for the Lord rather than for men." - Col. 3:22-23

PERSPECTIVE

For six years I "tipped my hat" to God as I've worked. Oh yeah, the work ethic that God instilled in me through the discipling of my Dad has insured that I gave MY best to the job. I've put in the six and seven day work weeks. I've put in the ten to twenty hour days and the forty-five to seventy hour work week. I've spent countless hours attending professional development to improve my skills as a math teacher and coach so that I stay on top of the game.

Unfortunately, my attitude has not allowed Christ to be supreme in all areas of my current vocation. I've struggled with 'food addiction.' A nice way to say that my eating habits are terrible and I am jeopardizing my heath and ability to perform my duties. i've struggled with exercise. I lost over forty pounds to get ready for the career change that I knew would be even more grueling than being a youth minister. Because even as a youth minister with the countless hours of planning, attending, etc. you can always find time in a day to sit down and relax. Almost all of its back, its time to get up off the couch and get this 'bubble' out of the middle, AGAIN!

I've struggled with authority. There are days that I don't want to attend all the meetings, do the never ending paperwork, provide the extra tutoring or come up with lesson plans. I just want to get by. I've struggled with personal discipleship. Making time daily to be in God's word and visit with Him. I have hurt hearts, under influenced those in my circle of influence, and allowed the wrong motives to direct my actions (and reactions).

While not all of my 5 years and 8 months have been totally devoid of God's supremacy, I dare say that there is much more He could and would have done in these years for His kingdom if I'd been willing to allow Him to be LORD every day in my work.

Now the question becomes will I allow Him consciously to be the Lord each day as I work for Him.

DOES YOUR JOB MATTER TO GOD

If you've made it this far let me ask you to take time to consider the fact that your job does matter to God. No matter what you do you have an opportunity to be of service to God's kingdom in it. It could be that your job is a "tent maker" job that would allow you to use your talents to serve God part time in a vocational ministry starting churches. It could be that your position would allow you to minister to those with whom you work in such a way that they would open the door to Christ and His Lordship in their lives.

It could be that you own your business and you could rewirte its purpose to be one that provides funds for missions around the world. This week I had a chance to be with Norm Miller. Norm is the Presiden/CEO of Interstate Battery. The Mission of IB is to sell batteries so that they can fund ministry around the world. They support many work place ministries silently, but one ministry they support is currently in the forefront, "I Am Second." Talk about being on mission in your job.

Or it could be that the vocation you're currently in is one you know doesn't honor anyone, much less God. The way that job might matter is to rid yourself of if and allow God to place you where He truly would have you be.

It is my hope that as I continue on this road of life that I will daily allow Christ to reign supreme as Lord so that the work I do matters in His kingdom.

"I must decrease, He must increase."